I’ve written about Findom before – my “€0,02” in 2020 a year later in 2021, and once more at the end of 2022, and every time I dive deeper into this kink, the same truth hits Me: most people still don’t understand what Financial Domination actually is. Back then I already said it: paying a tribute isn’t Findom, paying for content isn’t Findom, paying for a session isn’t Findom, those are transactions. Findom begins where a submissive willingly chooses sacrifice, structure, and surrender. And because the online noise hasn’t gotten any clearer, it’s time to share my unsolicited opinion on what it actually is, once again.
Posts on Instagram, TikTok, X, usually are reducing Findom to “send me money,” “buy my dinner,” “pay for my nails.” And even though it is cute and entertaining, It’s the diet version of the real thing: zero calories / zero power exchange. It’s putting yourself out there as a FinDom kink dispenser, because it’s on their demand, not yours.
It’s not just playful entitlement.
And maybe this is the Leo in me speaking, but I’m allergic to anything that pretends to be powerful without actually being powerful. Let me be very clear: Financial Domination, as I like to see it (and what it actually is), is not a shopping list. It is not a cashdrop. It is not “pay for my latte because I’m pretty.” That’s servitude, gifting, even spoiling. All fine, all fun, but they’re not solely Findom.
Findom is a deeply detailed, meticulous, and structured power exchange that rewires how a submissive thinks about money and accountability.
- It’s budget control.
- It’s expense tracking.
- It’s permission-based spending.
- It’s delayed gratification.
- Its consequences.
- It’s psychological restructuring; rewiring how a submissive attaches value to money.
One of my biggest icks in this industry is how many people use “Findom” as marketing, without knowing the practice. And the people who’ve been following me for years know I’ve been guilty of that as well (which I I reflected on and learned from). And worse: how many submissives truly want the depth of financial control, but get lost in the noise of cash grabs, wishlists, and shallow interactions.
In my FinDom dynamics, I’ve managed budgets, decided spending rules, calculated allowances, corrected overspending, and built long-term financial obligations that shape the submissive’s world. Not because I wanted to play accountant, but because money is one of the purest representations of power. And that is where power exchange begins.
I care about this topic because I live it, I’ve practiced it, and I’ve built entire dynamics around it. The emotional responsibility from both sides, and the psychological impact. Financial control isn’t an accessory to a dynamic; It’s a lifestyle. And honestly, the confusion out there doesn’t serve anyone, not Dommes who want to build something meaningful, and not submissives who crave the structure and surrender that real Financial Domination provides.
So consider this my contribution to unfucking unconfusing the FinDom landscape. The part Instagram and TikTok can’t fit into 30-second reels.
tHe WaY iT’s MeAnT tO bE
Even though I hate that sentence, and everyone should do whatever makes them happy, it does hold truth. So I’ll use it as “een geintje met een seintje.” Real power exchange needs a dynamic. A real dynamic needs at least two people. And at least one of those two needs real guidance.
Structure, control, and the continuous flow of money. Just how I like it. And that my dear, is the difference between a “send now” to the void, and real power.
If you want to understand the deeper side of Findom, the discipline, not just the surface, stay close. I’ll teach you. And if you’re already in that world and need clarity, direction, or refinement, you can always reach out for a workshop (FemDommes / FinDommes) or a FinDom session (finsubs).
Is FinDom still a big step for you? Try spoiling me